While I Was Out, 10-31-11

So, it's been a week already. 

Here's how I know I'm an awful person:  Yesterday my friend Stacy texted me the following:

I got to use your line this morning in the elevator...only because this lady was so rude.  She said "to make a long story short,' and so of course I said "too late."  Please note she wasn't even talking to me.  It was awesome!  I'm awesome!  You're awesome!

I'm a good friend.  I encourage my friends...and apparently, I encourage them to be rude.

But seriously, that's pretty awesome.

So I started the week by admitting that, like millions of other people, I tend to use technology almost solely to take amusing photos of my pets.

Then, with a nod to Halloween, I explained that I'm a cyborg with very clear death demands.

But when I wasn't being a bad influence on my friends, being a Marketing Genius, or freaking you out with my mortality, I stayed pretty busy.  Here's some stuff I loved this week:

Any Halloween clip that features anything dry-humping Al Roker's leg had me at "hump."  But the truly hysterical part of this is that the woman in this segment was demonstrating how to decoupage a pumpkin.  And that's not even double entendre!

Now I know what my Starbucks crew is really thinking when I hit the drive-thru every morning.

Did you hear the hubbub this year about people choosing to dress up as other ethnicities for Halloween?  Apparently the furor went farther than we thought.

I can't help it.  I love squirrels.

This may shock you, but I dig science.  This concept is pretty freaking cool...and by the way, the next time you eat calamari, I think you should say "Wow, this tastes so intelligent!"

That being said, I can't help myself.   Seriously, I have poor impulse control.

Tired of the whole "Occupy" thing?  You're not alone.  Not even in your refridgerator.

God help me, the ski slopes are open in Colorado.

And finally, Happy Halloween, Siri!  And people who ask me stupid questions!

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