While I Was Out, 11-08-11

So, it's been a week already.  Well, a week plus a day...but with the whole "falling back" concept, I'm hoping you missed the fact that I'm late with my weekly wrap up.

So you know that thing where you love a TV show and then for some reason you just stop watching it?  Kind of like how Elizabeth Taylor must've felt about all those husbands?  I hate to say it, but that has happened to me with "Glee."

When this show first came out, I was NUTS about it.  Correction:  BEFORE this show came out, I was nuts about it.  The extended preview made me cry.  "Being a part of something special makes you special, right?"  Oh Rachel Green, how I identified with you. 

And now?  Well the DVR still dutifully records it and hangs on to 5 episodes at a time and so each week, a little piece of musical heaven drops off my watch list like an illiterate kid slipping through the cracks of a public school.

How did this happen, I ask myself?  Well, it was the strangest thing.  At some point in the past year...life showed up on my doorstep.  In full technicolor and with its own glorious soundtrack not featuring the self-indulgently sad tunes of Barry Manilow.  And suddenly I didn't need "Glee" to tell me that all of those days I spent being a little nerdy (read: a LOT) in Show Choir were okay.  Suddenly I knew I was okay.

I credit Yoda (my shrink) with much of the growth, although she would insist that I did all the work.  She's a giver.  And mental health is a glorious thing.

Do I sometimes still get sad?  Absolutely.  One doesn't survive all the loss of the past couple of years without occasionally feeling a little melancholy.  One doesn't grow up being "Ogg the Dog" and "Ogg the Hog" without some bruising.  But on the whole, I'm baaaaa-aaack. 

And being back, safe and secure and confident in your own skin, well shit, that should have it's own show.

And maybe that's what this blog is:  my own show.  Apparently it will take the networks a little longer to get the hint.

So a huge, heartfelt thank you goes out to you-- my viewers (readers).  Your interest in the bizarre thing that has been my life truly sustains me when I'm feeling low.  There are now 584 of you in 9 countries and 40 states.  Italy, the UK, Germany, Vietnam, Norway, Costa Rica, Mexico... and most recently Russia.  It's so amazing to me that people who I don't know... and whose culture is wildly different than mine (assuming they're not all ex-pats) still enjoy my little stories.  Shout out to my peeps!

UPDATE:  598 readers from 10 countries.  G'day, Australia!

So, this week when when I wasn't not watching "Glee," alienating some of you by dogging on "Twilight" and creating a story about Pudge Gazelle and Christopher Phantom, writing a love letter to the Hairy Love of My Life, and being a Marketing Genius and amazing girl friend, I stayed pretty busy.  Here are some things I loved this week:

It's possible I'm becoming a little too ourdoorsy lately, but these are seriously gorgeous photos.

More proof that sometimes "Good morning" just means "good morning."

Even gorillas are better dancers than I am.

Have an extra 10 minutes?  Spend it here.

Hey Buffalo, you make a better door than a window.

So, this is perhaps a bit close for comfort.  How will Ben Affleck save us when he's busy being such a cute Dad?

And finally, if this one isn't appropriate for my life, I don't know what is.

Teaser:  I can feel a new episode of "Adventures in Dating" percolating!

In the meantime, to keep up with everything I do, become a FANdrea by clicking "Join this site."  You'll never miss a blog post and it's way less time-consuming and more legal than stalking (even though I do feel really close to you).

While I Was Out, 10-31-11

So, it's been a week already. 

Here's how I know I'm an awful person:  Yesterday my friend Stacy texted me the following:

I got to use your line this morning in the elevator...only because this lady was so rude.  She said "to make a long story short,' and so of course I said "too late."  Please note she wasn't even talking to me.  It was awesome!  I'm awesome!  You're awesome!

I'm a good friend.  I encourage my friends...and apparently, I encourage them to be rude.

But seriously, that's pretty awesome.

So I started the week by admitting that, like millions of other people, I tend to use technology almost solely to take amusing photos of my pets.

Then, with a nod to Halloween, I explained that I'm a cyborg with very clear death demands.

But when I wasn't being a bad influence on my friends, being a Marketing Genius, or freaking you out with my mortality, I stayed pretty busy.  Here's some stuff I loved this week:

Any Halloween clip that features anything dry-humping Al Roker's leg had me at "hump."  But the truly hysterical part of this is that the woman in this segment was demonstrating how to decoupage a pumpkin.  And that's not even double entendre!

Now I know what my Starbucks crew is really thinking when I hit the drive-thru every morning.

Did you hear the hubbub this year about people choosing to dress up as other ethnicities for Halloween?  Apparently the furor went farther than we thought.

I can't help it.  I love squirrels.

This may shock you, but I dig science.  This concept is pretty freaking cool...and by the way, the next time you eat calamari, I think you should say "Wow, this tastes so intelligent!"

That being said, I can't help myself.   Seriously, I have poor impulse control.

Tired of the whole "Occupy" thing?  You're not alone.  Not even in your refridgerator.

God help me, the ski slopes are open in Colorado.

And finally, Happy Halloween, Siri!  And people who ask me stupid questions!

To keep up with everything I do, become a FANdrea by clicking "Join this site."  You'll never miss a blog post and it's way less time-consuming and more legal than stalking (even though I do feel really close to you).

While I Was Out 10-10-11

So, it's been a week already. 

It started with me telling you about my wacky match.com swan song.  To this day, I have no idea how that didn't work.  Then again, I am also flummoxed by fractions, pivot tables and cartwheels.  And the metric system?  Forget it.  It's like people are just making that shit up as they go along.

And then I told you all about the manic need for acceptance that turns me into Jimmy Durante.  Let's face it, any post in which I recount a toddleriffic pants-pooping episode really only proves the point of this entire blog, which is Hey! Pay attention to me!

I made two big changes that affect how you can interact with me.  The first is that I removed the whole "type this word" thing when you want to leave a comment.  I know that was a pain in the ever-lovin' ass, it just took me this long to figure out it was optional.  I hope this gets you to a-commentin'!

The second change is it's now easier for you to share my blog with others.  Below each post, there is now an adorable little icon that looks like an envelope with an arrow in it.  If you click on that, you'll hit a form that lets you share easily.  So give the gift of Andrea, won't you?  If not for you, think of the children.

But while I wasn't entertaining you, being a Marketing Genius, or entreating The Boy to buy Lion King theater tickets (4th row, baby!), I stayed pretty busy.  Here's some stuff I loved last week:

Remember when you were five and woke up FULL OF AWESOME every day?  Buy one of these tshirts for your girl kid!  (I bought two-- one for me and one for my bestie-- not realizing they were kid sizes.  Yep, I woke up full of awesome that day!)

Two of my most favorite things in the world in one commerical:  Pistachios and... the Honey Badger.  Guess who's not eating cobra this week? 

I totally want to live in this house.  I don't even care where it is.  Do you think the dusting would be an issue (for my maid)?

Click here to learn why my new mantra is "Save a pretzel for the gas jets."  You gotta love a politician this inspirational!

And finally...this lil guy just reminded me so much of Boo (one of Derek's dogs)...both in looks and sentiment:

To keep up with everything I do, become a FANdrea by clicking "Join this site."  You'll never miss a blog post and it's way less time-consuming and more legal than stalking (even though I do feel really close to you).